I can't stand ain't shit parents. The ones who have no regard for the life or lives they have brought into this world. It is beyond selfish to make decisions that psychologically damaging to children. Multiple, different father figures, constant moving and relocations, passing children along to homes where they are unwanted, and I could go on and on. It is sad to see some of my kids who should get awards for the acting they do everytime they come to school. Whether it is overcompensating by being overly funny or trying their best to be the best dressed or trying to be the most popular, these kids bare the weight of the dumb mistakes their parents make. Today I almost cried to hear some of the stories of the very kids that I teach. I myself dealt with depression in high school and undergrad but surely not to the extent that some of my kids have it. I have one kid so angry and stressed and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change his current state except try to be that one person who actually gives a fuck about his life and well being. My boss was right when she said that teaching is beyond a career. I not only feel the pressure of teaching these kids the things their former teachers neglected to teach them but also they heavy burden of showing them the light to dark and dreadful tunnel they currently reside. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and anger and despair I felt as a child. I pushed myself so hard in school to be the best at everything so that one day I could free myself from my past. I see that same drive deep inside some of these kids that have those same feelings. The difference is they have yet to be given the equal opportunity for success. When you are reading and doing math at the 2nd grade level, what opportunity do you have at the age of 15, three years shy of being an adult. Today I left work angry, not because I hate my job. I hate everyone who has fucked up my kids lives and have made their struggle that much harder. My stepmom always told me that as a black male I had to work twice as hard to make it but these kids have to work 10 times as hard and why? Everything in their life has set them up for failure. From deadbeat non existent parents to parents who take food away from kids as a punishment to those low life fucktards who have the AUDACITY to take the life of these kids loved ones, these kids are stronger than I could ever be. Yet they are crying out for help. As I learn these kids, I can tell every emotion that is on their face. Tomorrow I have to read a paper that I know is bound to break my heart because one of my kids is writing about his life right now and I know he has a lot of hurt and anger in his heart. Im angry for him. He deserves to be happy just like any other person. If he can only learn to be resilient and determined......
The BFF text and emailed me yesterday and today because one of his best kids' mom had been missing for a while and yesterday they found her body -- she'd been murdered.
ReplyDeleteTurns out, this girl's younger brother's father was murdered as was her younger sister's father and now their mother is gone.
You know, I stop, I think... and Lord, I'm 23 -- I could NOT manage if my mother died, let alone was murdered. This little girl is in the 6th grade. And now what?
Meanwhile, I feel my BFF's pain. He cries for her and he has no idea what to do about it.
At the same time he has no idea what to do with his kids who's parents are like osme of the parents of your kids. Don't care, won't care... ain't got the sense God gave a fly, and yet they just have kids over and over like it's going to work itself out.
That, in and of itself, oughta be criminal and punishable by law.