Saturday, May 18, 2013
Saying GoodBye
The sayings that people have about the teaching profession are so cliché. As I close out this school year and this huge chapter of my life, I can't help seeing how true these sayings have been for me. Teaching has been an interesting experience in that I have never felt good enough. I've always been one who pressures himself to be the best and to keep improving. As a result, I tend to overlook the work that I have done. It isn't until the end of the year thank yous roll in or the visits from old students that I fully understand my impact. I could care less if all of my students become math geniuses even though I do get discourage when all of my students are not performing up to standard. I start each school year with a mission of transforming kids into upstanding adults. I want my students to be independent, knowledgeable, respectful, honest, fair, real, tough, driven, hardworking, open minded, confident individuals. Basically, I want my students to develop the character traits that took me 25 years to develop early. In essence, I do try to help raise the kids that step into my classroom. I see them at their true selves more than their parents do. It is my aim to help them learn to navigate life for themselves but in a way that makes logical sense and yields promising positive results. Any teacher can yell and write kids up (mind you I do my fair share) however my students know their reprimands come from and why. My punishments are always necessary but fair. One of my favorite parents this year was sharing how much of a difference I made in her daughters life. She stated how I provide her daughter with an example of a young black person doing great things and how I have given her daughter confidence. I have heard these things before but now it is starting to sink in that this is the teacher I am. I have always wondered how I become my students favorite teacher. I'm mean as hell. I fuss all the time. Im unbending. I'm sarcastic. I'm rude. However, I am all of these things when they are not exemplifying the above list. I push my students and expect nothing less than excellence. I don't care what you go home to, at school is where you make it happen. Its the ticket to making your life go in the direction you want. Honestly that's why I am how I am today. So saying goodbye this year is going to be rough. I'm going to cry which I actually never do because I know that I'd see my kids again. This time will be different because I likely won't ever see them again nor will I be close enough to watch them grow, call them out on their foolishness, tell them how proud I am of their accomplishments, run them away from my room for being aggravating, etc. I am thankful though that I am making a difference.
"Imma punch you in the MFeffin face"
So if the title of this post doesn't clue you into the nature of this post....
For the very first time in my career, I had a student threaten to hit me. Which, in all honesty, is a surprise. I definitely would have expected this sooner and from my older students. So here's how it went down. One of my teammates was out and he had a sub. The sub was having difficulties with the one kid most subs have difficulties with from our kids. Naturally, being the disciplinarian on my team, he was brought to me. Now I have dealt with this student all year and he typically responds well to me. I have a general philosophy that I let my kids have their own due process. Ill hear your side, the opposing sides, then make consequences based on how the stories match. Well I guess this day, he was really in his feelings and when I try to talk to him he is ignoring me and walking away. I HATE when kids do that to me. So I catch him by the arm and ask him what's going on. He says "if you don't get your hands off me, im gonna punch in the motherfucking face". Mind you this is in front of the class that I'm teaching. I have warned them on several occasions of three things: 1. I am crazy 2. Don't show out in front of people because I do it better 3. Don't come at me crazy because of number 1. So without hesitation, I switch from Mr. Stanley to Charles and respond "oh you gonna hit me in my face....WELL LETS GO THEN." I walk his little self right into the hallway and here's what happened
ME: OK so you gonna hit me in the face. Let's go. You have plenty of space and opportunity. You can hit me right now but you better make it a good one because I am definitely pressing charges and having you sent to jail. You doing all this extra for no reason but if you are that bad you can do it but I will toss you little boy. So you have two options: you can tell me whats going on or you can hit me. Which one are you gonna choose?
he pauses and thinks about this.
So he goes to explain this whole thing was about him losing his research for his project. When I tell you I went off! I was like, you mean to tell me all of this was about a piece of paper you wrote some information down on. You really threatened to hit me of all people over a sheet of paper?? I then go on to tell him that he needed to get his life together (one of my most used sayings in class) because he is not the only one who has had a troubled life and who has gone through things. I also told him not to underestimate me. Don't let the expensive shoes and ties fool you. I have been through my own struggles and I'm stronger than I look. I also told him that he needed to reevaluate the way he makes choices because he came close to making the wrong one. He then apologizes and says "You're right Mr. Stanley. I'm sorry. I love you. I was just mad. I wasn't going to hit you." I responded "I know, you ain't that crazy."
For the very first time in my career, I had a student threaten to hit me. Which, in all honesty, is a surprise. I definitely would have expected this sooner and from my older students. So here's how it went down. One of my teammates was out and he had a sub. The sub was having difficulties with the one kid most subs have difficulties with from our kids. Naturally, being the disciplinarian on my team, he was brought to me. Now I have dealt with this student all year and he typically responds well to me. I have a general philosophy that I let my kids have their own due process. Ill hear your side, the opposing sides, then make consequences based on how the stories match. Well I guess this day, he was really in his feelings and when I try to talk to him he is ignoring me and walking away. I HATE when kids do that to me. So I catch him by the arm and ask him what's going on. He says "if you don't get your hands off me, im gonna punch in the motherfucking face". Mind you this is in front of the class that I'm teaching. I have warned them on several occasions of three things: 1. I am crazy 2. Don't show out in front of people because I do it better 3. Don't come at me crazy because of number 1. So without hesitation, I switch from Mr. Stanley to Charles and respond "oh you gonna hit me in my face....WELL LETS GO THEN." I walk his little self right into the hallway and here's what happened
ME: OK so you gonna hit me in the face. Let's go. You have plenty of space and opportunity. You can hit me right now but you better make it a good one because I am definitely pressing charges and having you sent to jail. You doing all this extra for no reason but if you are that bad you can do it but I will toss you little boy. So you have two options: you can tell me whats going on or you can hit me. Which one are you gonna choose?
he pauses and thinks about this.
So he goes to explain this whole thing was about him losing his research for his project. When I tell you I went off! I was like, you mean to tell me all of this was about a piece of paper you wrote some information down on. You really threatened to hit me of all people over a sheet of paper?? I then go on to tell him that he needed to get his life together (one of my most used sayings in class) because he is not the only one who has had a troubled life and who has gone through things. I also told him not to underestimate me. Don't let the expensive shoes and ties fool you. I have been through my own struggles and I'm stronger than I look. I also told him that he needed to reevaluate the way he makes choices because he came close to making the wrong one. He then apologizes and says "You're right Mr. Stanley. I'm sorry. I love you. I was just mad. I wasn't going to hit you." I responded "I know, you ain't that crazy."
Monday, May 6, 2013
Civil Rights of Math....Treat Fractions, Decimals, and Percents as equals
(The title is by far one of my favorite sayings in math class. I think its funny because I'm black and they've studied the movement...yeah its corny)
This school year is coming to a close and it has been awfully hectic trying to close out my responsibilities at my school in order to transition to New York. I plan to make a more conscious effort to blog more frequently and fill yall in on the crazy shenanigans that happen. My post today has two different purposes. One is of course story time and the other is a reflection.
Story of course must come first....
SOOOO....I was out on Friday due to having scheduled multiple appointments so that I would not have to miss more than one day from work. SIDENOTE: Teachers missing work is more work than actually going to work so I really try to avoid it. ANYWAYS, I return back to work today to find a note that says my students were VERY loud and talkative. So naturally I was livid because my students know how I feel about their actions being a reflection of me as a teacher. I have that buy in with them so they actually understand that concept. So I open my class today sharing the lovely note I received from my substitute then opened the floor for them to provide me the rationale for their behavior. Here were their responses:
1. "Well, the substitute really didn't try and control us so we just took advantage of the situation"
2. "Your instructions said we could work in partners if we needed help, so we just worked together and talked instead of worked" (ok, that one was just rude)
3. "Well, Mr. Stanley, you are a professional and you know what you are doing. So when you tell us to do something we do it. She was just a sub. We didn't think we would have to see her again" (I laughed on the inside at this one)
4. "You make math fun, she just gave us worksheets so we talked because we were bored"
5. "We know the consequences with you and with her we didn't think there would be any"
6. "You make us follow the rules and if we don't you teach us a lesson"
(there were a lot more but I can't remember nor feel like typing all of them)
After hearing their rationale, I did see their point but of course I made this a teachable moment. This new generation really has very limited respect for adults or authority. That's learned but I'm old school in that regard. I emphasized that any adult should get respect until proven they don't deserve it. So we get passed my mini sermon on respect and expected behavior for when I am absent and it truly made me reflect. My students really are well behaved. I run a tight ship and my students know exactly what is expected of them. They expect punishment for wrong doing and from their own personal testimonies students of all demographics realize that it applies to them. It hit me at that point that my students really have been getting so many of the life lessons that I have shared with them. The impact that I thought I wasn't having was actually sinking in. I've been hearing that I am the favorite amongst my teaching team which always baffled me but I do give my students paternal love and guidance. They also live for my sarcasm and sense of humor. They like that I shoot it straight and I really don't treat them like they are little kids. Seeing the disappointment in their faces because I was disappointed let me know that I was well respected and that's always my ultimate goal.
This school year is coming to a close and it has been awfully hectic trying to close out my responsibilities at my school in order to transition to New York. I plan to make a more conscious effort to blog more frequently and fill yall in on the crazy shenanigans that happen. My post today has two different purposes. One is of course story time and the other is a reflection.
Story of course must come first....
SOOOO....I was out on Friday due to having scheduled multiple appointments so that I would not have to miss more than one day from work. SIDENOTE: Teachers missing work is more work than actually going to work so I really try to avoid it. ANYWAYS, I return back to work today to find a note that says my students were VERY loud and talkative. So naturally I was livid because my students know how I feel about their actions being a reflection of me as a teacher. I have that buy in with them so they actually understand that concept. So I open my class today sharing the lovely note I received from my substitute then opened the floor for them to provide me the rationale for their behavior. Here were their responses:
1. "Well, the substitute really didn't try and control us so we just took advantage of the situation"
2. "Your instructions said we could work in partners if we needed help, so we just worked together and talked instead of worked" (ok, that one was just rude)
3. "Well, Mr. Stanley, you are a professional and you know what you are doing. So when you tell us to do something we do it. She was just a sub. We didn't think we would have to see her again" (I laughed on the inside at this one)
4. "You make math fun, she just gave us worksheets so we talked because we were bored"
5. "We know the consequences with you and with her we didn't think there would be any"
6. "You make us follow the rules and if we don't you teach us a lesson"
(there were a lot more but I can't remember nor feel like typing all of them)
After hearing their rationale, I did see their point but of course I made this a teachable moment. This new generation really has very limited respect for adults or authority. That's learned but I'm old school in that regard. I emphasized that any adult should get respect until proven they don't deserve it. So we get passed my mini sermon on respect and expected behavior for when I am absent and it truly made me reflect. My students really are well behaved. I run a tight ship and my students know exactly what is expected of them. They expect punishment for wrong doing and from their own personal testimonies students of all demographics realize that it applies to them. It hit me at that point that my students really have been getting so many of the life lessons that I have shared with them. The impact that I thought I wasn't having was actually sinking in. I've been hearing that I am the favorite amongst my teaching team which always baffled me but I do give my students paternal love and guidance. They also live for my sarcasm and sense of humor. They like that I shoot it straight and I really don't treat them like they are little kids. Seeing the disappointment in their faces because I was disappointed let me know that I was well respected and that's always my ultimate goal.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Fifth Grade Favorites
So since I haven't blogged in awhile you all may have missed some of the more comical parts of this school year. Ill share my favorite five....really I can only remember about five
1. The day one of my students with downs ran away and I chased her. LORD HAVE MERCY SHE WAS FAST. So I knew there was a fire drill that day, I just haven't taught a lot of students with special needs. Prior knowledge would have led me to notifying her parapro that there was a drill so that she would be prepared....but I didn't have the prior knowledge so whatever. So we get outside and I'm lining up kids as I see a dash. All of sudden I'm like OH NO and I take off behind her. I'm wearing Cole Haans...barely broken in Cole Haans. So I start behind her but I realize that she is not giving me regular run, she's giving me Harriet Tubman give us us free track star running. So I'm like ok let me really run. So I switch into track star mode and catch her. The whole time everyone is WATCHING me run after her by myself. FOR REAL? Yall not trying to help me? She was running straight to the woods. If she made it in, she would have been a goner because I don't do the woods. I surely wasn't going to email her parents either. Then the one of the other kids tells me (as im out of breath because I'm no longer in shape) that it was time to go inside. When I tell you I was on the verge of cursing him out! I told him, "we go inside when I say we go inside. I know you see me out of breath".
2. My black kids play "Beyond Scared Straight". I really don't know how to explain this to yall at all. Just know there is a warden...a lot of yelling...a lot of marching. Befuddles me every recess
3. My students like to play me like I'm old. I am but that doesn't mean we talk about it. Here is how I shut it down once
#ooms- Mr Stanley you are old
me- Oh you obviously like 5th grade enough to do it twice
#endscene Don't come for me like kids.
4. I will never forget when #ooms I call my Spanish thug came up to my teammates and I and said "I have a friend with benefits". Talk about the most awkward moment in life. None of us knew what to say but we couldn't just leave it. So I went in for more details. Needless to say it wasn't as bad as I thought but it was kind of close. SMH
5. Last but not least....Charles and Mr. Stanley have been doing a lot of merging in the classroom. While that may sound like a good thing...its not. Charles is ratchet. Mr. Stanley is not. Im teaching a math lesson and somehow integrated "started from the bottom now we here", beefed it up, and used the saying "we don't die, we multiply" all in one class period. Gots to do better.
1. The day one of my students with downs ran away and I chased her. LORD HAVE MERCY SHE WAS FAST. So I knew there was a fire drill that day, I just haven't taught a lot of students with special needs. Prior knowledge would have led me to notifying her parapro that there was a drill so that she would be prepared....but I didn't have the prior knowledge so whatever. So we get outside and I'm lining up kids as I see a dash. All of sudden I'm like OH NO and I take off behind her. I'm wearing Cole Haans...barely broken in Cole Haans. So I start behind her but I realize that she is not giving me regular run, she's giving me Harriet Tubman give us us free track star running. So I'm like ok let me really run. So I switch into track star mode and catch her. The whole time everyone is WATCHING me run after her by myself. FOR REAL? Yall not trying to help me? She was running straight to the woods. If she made it in, she would have been a goner because I don't do the woods. I surely wasn't going to email her parents either. Then the one of the other kids tells me (as im out of breath because I'm no longer in shape) that it was time to go inside. When I tell you I was on the verge of cursing him out! I told him, "we go inside when I say we go inside. I know you see me out of breath".
2. My black kids play "Beyond Scared Straight". I really don't know how to explain this to yall at all. Just know there is a warden...a lot of yelling...a lot of marching. Befuddles me every recess
3. My students like to play me like I'm old. I am but that doesn't mean we talk about it. Here is how I shut it down once
#ooms- Mr Stanley you are old
me- Oh you obviously like 5th grade enough to do it twice
#endscene Don't come for me like kids.
4. I will never forget when #ooms I call my Spanish thug came up to my teammates and I and said "I have a friend with benefits". Talk about the most awkward moment in life. None of us knew what to say but we couldn't just leave it. So I went in for more details. Needless to say it wasn't as bad as I thought but it was kind of close. SMH
5. Last but not least....Charles and Mr. Stanley have been doing a lot of merging in the classroom. While that may sound like a good thing...its not. Charles is ratchet. Mr. Stanley is not. Im teaching a math lesson and somehow integrated "started from the bottom now we here", beefed it up, and used the saying "we don't die, we multiply" all in one class period. Gots to do better.
TCAP...not the predator kind
While it is yet spring break, the daunting horizon of the TCAP is just three weeks away. Normally I do not stress about stuff like this but it is really important for me to see how well I am at getting results. Last year, I was able to lean on the crutch of not teaching my students an entire calendar year but this year....don't really have any excuses. To make matters worse, we have a widening achievement gap in the 5th grade (the largest gap in the building). My fear is that our classroom setup has made me better at teaching the kids at the top which is an exact flip of my results from last year. Our classes are ability grouped (don't ever consider that idea for an entire school building...not sure what idiot created that research but they should have been more specific about where to apply said research). I really want to see all of my students at proficient but I don't know if that is completely possible. Couple that with being unhappy with my job and it becomes that much harder to produce results. I love my kids, I love teaching 5th grade, I love my coworkers, but the structure of our school building and the culture of our school has had me in the worst slump ever. Now that I know I'm going on to new adventures, I will have the drive to push out some major moves in the next three weeks. We'll see though.
Whats in da new chicken wraps?!?!?!
What's good everyone?!?! It has been a minute since I have posted to this and mainly because of two reasons
1. I don't know what kind of thumb you call it when all the computers you touch malfunction but whatever it is, I had it. I was kind of down and out and without and grad school was here so that's that.
2. I've honestly been really dissatisfied
I'll dwell on 2 a bit longer and in the end, I will tie this back to my crazy title. In January of 2012, I transferred schools and for all the right reasons in my opinion. Working with the someone who doesn't like you nor you them but not being the advantageous one in the situation is just not healthy. So I left. However, when I left, I didn't quite realize what I was leaving. Originally, I was making a point and a statement. That point being: I'm the shit and you need me more than I need you. Hey, I was young and proud what can you do. I realized though that I was leaving kids who were like my own children. My students respected me as a parental figure minus calling me dad because that's just weird and awkward for an 8th grade girl to call her male teacher not much older than her. After moving to my new school, I lost that feeling. I truly didn't know the impact that would have on my satisfaction with my job. I love teaching and I truly think I am gifted at what I do to a certain degree. My forte comes with relationships that I build with kids. However, my authoritarian demeanor doesn't necessary match all kinds of kids but it does a certain demographic. That's when it hit me....I really do not like privileged children. As harsh as that statement sounds, hear my rationale. At my old school I provided the stability, structure, discipline, love, guidance, etc because many of my kids did not get it in large doses at home. My parents didn't call me and email me 5 times a week with concerns but I liked that because my students needed me in a deeper way than my students now. I truly miss that. One of the reasons I ventured into the classroom was because my teachers reached out to more than the academic piece of me when I needed it the most. My teachers were my lifesavers. I like life saving. I like helping and being needed. So how does this relate to my title....well....Mary loves chicken....chicken wraps....so she did a commercial....with lots of passion....about chicken wraps. Most people hated that commercial and she tried to deny she was here for it but she was. So in the same fashion, I'm returning to what I love.
1. I don't know what kind of thumb you call it when all the computers you touch malfunction but whatever it is, I had it. I was kind of down and out and without and grad school was here so that's that.
2. I've honestly been really dissatisfied
I'll dwell on 2 a bit longer and in the end, I will tie this back to my crazy title. In January of 2012, I transferred schools and for all the right reasons in my opinion. Working with the someone who doesn't like you nor you them but not being the advantageous one in the situation is just not healthy. So I left. However, when I left, I didn't quite realize what I was leaving. Originally, I was making a point and a statement. That point being: I'm the shit and you need me more than I need you. Hey, I was young and proud what can you do. I realized though that I was leaving kids who were like my own children. My students respected me as a parental figure minus calling me dad because that's just weird and awkward for an 8th grade girl to call her male teacher not much older than her. After moving to my new school, I lost that feeling. I truly didn't know the impact that would have on my satisfaction with my job. I love teaching and I truly think I am gifted at what I do to a certain degree. My forte comes with relationships that I build with kids. However, my authoritarian demeanor doesn't necessary match all kinds of kids but it does a certain demographic. That's when it hit me....I really do not like privileged children. As harsh as that statement sounds, hear my rationale. At my old school I provided the stability, structure, discipline, love, guidance, etc because many of my kids did not get it in large doses at home. My parents didn't call me and email me 5 times a week with concerns but I liked that because my students needed me in a deeper way than my students now. I truly miss that. One of the reasons I ventured into the classroom was because my teachers reached out to more than the academic piece of me when I needed it the most. My teachers were my lifesavers. I like life saving. I like helping and being needed. So how does this relate to my title....well....Mary loves chicken....chicken wraps....so she did a commercial....with lots of passion....about chicken wraps. Most people hated that commercial and she tried to deny she was here for it but she was. So in the same fashion, I'm returning to what I love.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)