Sacrifices

A teacher often has to sacrifice a lot of things. Purchasing supplies from your own paycheck, staying after school to tutor or run a student organization, attending events students participate in, spending time at home preparing for instruction instead of maximizing quality time with family, are all just a few items on the list that most teachers give up. In my first year, I have experienced many of those however the sacrifice I recently have made has made all the world of difference. I sacrificed my planning period (i have two) to provide one on one instruction to one of the lowest kids in the school in mathematics and science. We are literally starting at the beginning with one-step addition. This sacrifice has been worth it and it has only been two days. In these two days, I have created an engaged math student. I taught the dot system that is often used in the elementary school for adding and taught him how to use the dots to add so that he doesn't have to use his fingers. At his age, it is embarrassing to have people see you use your fingers to count. Now, he has adopted this method and uses it to solve problems. Today, I wrote problems on the board for him to solve later. Now in normal circumstances, my students would ignore anything I have on the board until I bring it up. However, I left the room for 30 seconds while he was finishing up his science assignment to see that he had taken it upon himself to start the problems on the board. I couldn't be more proud of him. This same student is the one who hates school, has no real life goals, and only has interest in Waka Flocka Flame, girls, and computers. He comes and gets down to work and tries to learn and master the things we are learning. While we have a far way to go, I am glad I gave up my time in order to help make sure that he could start finding an interest in his learning. He currently has an A in the material we have covered in which he respond "I have an A..that go hard in the paint like Flocka said huh" lol.

A Seed Doesn't Flower Overnight

So I haven't blogged in awhile because all I could think of to blog about were negative. I hate whining and complaining because that gets you absolutely no where. So here is a recap of all that has happen since I last blogged

1. Salary cut

2. Homework completion rate almost dismal

3. Test failures

4. Being fussed out by a parent

5. 2 Schedule/class changes

6. Epic failure of giving a test when i was absent

7. Being micro-managed

All these things plus discipline and immaturity levels have made work a dreadful place to go. So instead of quitting which i definitely contemplated, I tried to make changes that would make things happen the way I wanted instead of allowing things to happen to me. So here is the list of things that changed in my classroom

1. Reading assignments are given twice in different forms (review questions, summaries, etc)

2. Parents are called immediately by their child when they do not turn in homework

3. Progress reports go home weekly

4. Quizzes are also daily

As a result, homework turn in rate has increased significantly as well as the amount of studying that is put in on the home front. I just need to figure a way to transfer class performance to assessment performance.

Teaching is difficult. I have read several articles about the first year experience and they are even an understatement (at least for the demographic I work with). Its hard being so young and teaching kids how to become respectable young men, instilling in them a work ethic, and making them find value and purpose in their education. Most of these things I do not recall having to learn at their age so it is difficult for me to understand the disconnect. I am learning to be patient but not complacent with where they are. The biggest difficulty is overcoming how to help those who don't want or know they need the help.

Stanley Goes HAM

So I gave my entire Algebra 1 class zeroes today. No one did homework this weekend nor did they study. Naturally I went in on them but in a cool, calm, and collective. This is how it went

Me: Soooo none of you did your homework this weekend.....What is the point of me teaching if you are not going to go home and do your work nor study. What is my job as a teacher

Students: To answer questions, to teach, to give us knowledge (randomly shouted out)

Me: Ok....so what is your job as students?

Students: To take in the knowledge, to study, to do our work

Me: Ok, so I am doing my job, why are you not doing yours?

Students: No response

Me: Oh that was not a rhetorical question, I want an answer

Students: I don't know

Me: Well maybe because you are going to games, throwing parties, hanging out, kicking it, watching games that you are not doing your job. I do all of those things too but I still get my work done. So here is what you are going to do. You have these 6 problems on the board. You will take out your notes and work on these problems alone. Don't ask me any questions because I am not answering them. You didn't do your job, so I am refusing to do mine. When you come back tomorrow, you need to have studied and come prepared with questions for the things you don't understand

I am so straight on feeling like I teach elementary kids. They are going to learn responsibility if it kills them. I also refused to take any late work. I know they hate me lol.

Life Choices

So I finally got inside to figure out part of the problem with one of my students. I was shocked that he felt that he could confide in me to let me in on what has been going on in his life. Unfortunately what he told me left me shocked and defeated. While I won't delve into the specifics, all I truly heard was a possible 8 to 12 years in jail. For the first time, I had no answers or solutions. No way I could help. As unfortunate as the situation could potentially be, we talked about the life lessons behind it. Life isn't as precious until you realize you can't enjoy it freely or until you know it is about to be taken from you. We talked about choices. Parents don't emphasis the effect that choices no matter how big or small have an effect on something. Everything you do have an outcome either favorable or not to your situation. In this case, the decision he made now has the chance to ruin the plans he could have had for his life. Being locked up will do nothing but make him have to work even harder than he has to work now. Let's face it, the realistic chance that he will become something else other than another black man on the street will be inevitable if he goes to jail. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time isn't always by happenstance and sometimes we have to make the decision to protect ourselves first. According to his story, he was not involved so pray that God's will be done and that the outcome is favorable to his success and future.

Learning the Hard Way

So today I was annoyed at how rude and disrespectful my students can be. Their only task during their drama class was to be a good audience to the elementary kids who were going to perform today. They were talking and just acting all out of order. I told them I wouldn't be taking them anywhere with me because they lacked the maturity. I feel like my students are a reflection of my abilities as a teacher, so if I take them somewhere they are NOT about to embarrass me. I have had to lay down the law as of late because these kids are not getting the verbal messages. So I have been preaching to these kids about being on time and being responsible. Well one kid shows up to my class two minutes late...we are outside in TWO portables...how in the world could you be late. ***DOOR LOCKED***. I have talked enough. Practicing what I preach. Two other kids left their stuff in the other room and didn't have it for my class. They were not allowed to go back to get it which means their homework also received late grades. I am not going. Molding children is such a task. SMH

We Love You Stanley

Teaching really has given quite a bit of insight into what it means to be a parent. While it is only a snippet of time, you really get to understand all of the things that a parent really has to do, think, say, etc. Just like parents aren't perfect, teachers are not either. I don't always say the right thing or respond the right way but it is comforting to know that my students still love me. I never imagined high schoolers to be the mushy type but I am often overwhelmed at the amount of hugs and "I love you Stanley"s that I get on the daily basis. Sometimes it is after I have gone off on them for not acting like they should, sometimes after I have been extremely generous with work, but a lot of times it is really random. I am not always proud of their actions but each day I learn something about them that makes me more and more eager to see the adults they will become. Ever since our coming to Jesus meeting, things have not been as difficult but that could also be credited to shorter class periods lol. Now if the real adults could organize and communicate THAT would make things a WHOLE lot better. Watching this school shows me a lot of things I would do differently if I were running my own school. Its all with the details. The big picture is the easy part, it is those small things that you don't make time to think about that end of becoming the things that can tear down the structure of what you thought was something properly designed. So I am making mental notes so that when it is my turn, I can make a few less mistakes than what I have witnessed.

On a side comical note: The kids order snacks from the cafeteria but they can not go into the cafeteria (long stupid story) so I retrieve their orders for them. The high schoolers wear white polos and black pants/ shorts. I am typically in a tie, dress short, slacks, and loafers. To date, I can only think of two days I dressed semi-casual (one day with just a polo and tan slacks; another with jeans, blazer, and a bowtie). So today I go to pick up the order and one of the cafeteria lady stops me and says "Can I ask you a personal question?" Of course, my mind is running all over the pass trying to guess what she is going to ask me. I say "Sure". She says, "How old are you?". Again, I'm throwing her a slick sideeye because I have no idea where this conversation is about to go. So I respond "23". Well as I come to find out, this lady has been assuming that I was a student and that somehow I had special privileges over the other kids lol. I can't seem to shake my boyish good looks but I guess that is nothing to complain about. lol. I need to start wearing a nametag especially when I start taking them on field trips. Folks will just think I'm a teenager who just goes HAM on my friends when they act out. lol

You're not mean, you're just fiesty

Today was a very interesting day. When I got to work today the new schedule was still not announced, books had not been numbered, pretty much everything for the day was not ready. If you know me, you know I do not do well with chaos and confusion. The new teacher started today and she is a lot like myself so I do feel really great about the new team that is being formed. I just hope we can find some stability and consistency. The new textbooks, however, are a pain. You never really think about the quality of a textbook until you become a teacher. There are so many things that can turn me off from a textbook. Size of print, wording, examples, pictures, accompanying materials are all important features that can make a text worth purchasing. We have the misfortune of having the worst Algebra book known to man. The print is small, the book isn't user friendly, nor does it have any pictures. The book merely has a lot of numbers scrunched on a page. There is no way for a student to pick up the text and begin to even attempt to teach themselves. Luckily, I have lots of other materials due to the many teacher friends I know to help me out.

On another note, I didn't realize how tough I can be to deal with as a teacher until I thought back on some of the things my kids hear me say. For example, I am notorious for ignoring complaints or negligence. One of my kids came into class and says "Mr Stanley, I don't have my homework". Now I am pretty understanding but my kids should know better at this point to think I am going to feel sorry for them first. So naturally my response is "So what do you expect me to do about that". He says "You saw me do it yesterday, its just not here". My response "Well that was yesterday, I need it today". SMH. I going to do better one day but they have to learn responsibility so while I may make a few exceptions here and there, generally I just point them to the large display of what excuses are. Its so funny to watch them point each other to the Excuses poster in my room because that is always my first response if not sarcasm or lack of empathy. One of my kids told me today that I wasn't mean, just fiesty lol.

The Comeback

I haven't written awhile because honestly I have been quite depressed with my job. Just when I thought I was making progress it seemed like I was getting no where. Kids were becoming more and more difficult and rebellious. Work wasn't getting done nor was the attitude of care existent. I had to have a coming to Jesus meeting about respect and what I was not going to tolerate anymore. After that conversation, things have made a complete turn around. I am back to my ambitious and respectful yet sarcastic 9th graders that made work worth it. At the parent meeting I learned more of the impact that I have had on these kids. While they may not always show it, they love having me as a teacher and tell their parents about their classroom experiences. It was great talking to each one of my parents and sharing with them the things their kids do well. I know they have heard plenty of negatives but they actually have wonderful kids whom which i have grown to love. I love that already, I am leaving an impressionable stamp that could be the very thing that inspires them to be successful. One of my most difficult students has no interest in school or learning. He has gotten to the 9th grade simply by his charm but can read or do mathematics on a level higher than the 2nd grade. He has hated all of his teachers thus far and I didn't think he cared too much for me either. He is not one to show dislike however I just didn't see myself making a real connection that could spark his interest in learning. I learned tonight that he thinks I am cool and I am the only reason he even remotely enjoys coming to school. Now to inspire him to have life goals and do school work...

What I Can't Stand

Excuse the language that you may read below. This is a very passionate and delicate subject written from the heart

I can't stand ain't shit parents. The ones who have no regard for the life or lives they have brought into this world. It is beyond selfish to make decisions that psychologically damaging to children. Multiple, different father figures, constant moving and relocations, passing children along to homes where they are unwanted, and I could go on and on. It is sad to see some of my kids who should get awards for the acting they do everytime they come to school. Whether it is overcompensating by being overly funny or trying their best to be the best dressed or trying to be the most popular, these kids bare the weight of the dumb mistakes their parents make. Today I almost cried to hear some of the stories of the very kids that I teach. I myself dealt with depression in high school and undergrad but surely not to the extent that some of my kids have it. I have one kid so angry and stressed and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change his current state except try to be that one person who actually gives a fuck about his life and well being. My boss was right when she said that teaching is beyond a career. I not only feel the pressure of teaching these kids the things their former teachers neglected to teach them but also they heavy burden of showing them the light to dark and dreadful tunnel they currently reside. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and anger and despair I felt as a child. I pushed myself so hard in school to be the best at everything so that one day I could free myself from my past. I see that same drive deep inside some of these kids that have those same feelings. The difference is they have yet to be given the equal opportunity for success. When you are reading and doing math at the 2nd grade level, what opportunity do you have at the age of 15, three years shy of being an adult. Today I left work angry, not because I hate my job. I hate everyone who has fucked up my kids lives and have made their struggle that much harder. My stepmom always told me that as a black male I had to work twice as hard to make it but these kids have to work 10 times as hard and why? Everything in their life has set them up for failure. From deadbeat non existent parents to parents who take food away from kids as a punishment to those low life fucktards who have the AUDACITY to take the life of these kids loved ones, these kids are stronger than I could ever be. Yet they are crying out for help. As I learn these kids, I can tell every emotion that is on their face. Tomorrow I have to read a paper that I know is bound to break my heart because one of my kids is writing about his life right now and I know he has a lot of hurt and anger in his heart. Im angry for him. He deserves to be happy just like any other person. If he can only learn to be resilient and determined......

There is always one

I believe that every teacher has that one student they feel they must save. Why you must save that kid, you aren't really sure but there is a strong conviction inside of you to do whatever it takes to make a lasting impression. Naturally, I have found that student. One of my boys is a very bright kid who has had the unfortunate experience of being written off due to the way he handles problems. In the past, he has been known for having a temper, not being compliant, and leaving class without permission. When I first met him, something about his personality drew me to him. I had been told things about him prior to but I was not able to put the two together because of the young man that he presented himself to be. In my class, he works pretty hard (everyone has their moments) and is very respectful. He had some incidences with a few other people in the school and that is how I learned that he had a great deal of respect for me. All the former things about him would flare up on other people but never with me. I think my approach with my kids has a lot to do with how I gain their respect. I'm firm but I am not over the top and I tend to do things consistently. One day, he was caught passing notes and writing in my class during a time where he shouldn't. I took the old school approach and took what he was writing. Later, I read what he had. It was probably one of the most depressing and victimizing things I had ever read. He wrote with so much passion but I wasn't sure if the note was about him, someone he knew, or something he had recently/previously experienced. Instead of chastising him (because there was quite a bit of profanity) I encouraged him to keep writing because of his writing ability and to not censor himself. Afterwards, he began to show me more and more pieces as he creates them. He missed school for an entire week. Rumor had it that he had transferred and I was extremely concerned. Our school climate is set up for student success and avoidance of distractions. His temper and attitude would have him God knows where living or dead. He came back to school today and I couldn't be any happier. He listens to my advice and takes my criticism well. I just hope I can see him off to college and into a life that is not so gloomy and downtrodden.

Im Going Crazy

I don't know where to begin. These kids are driving me insane. I think I am going to have an ulcer before the school year is over. At this point, I have stretched myself thin as a teacher. I have gone above and beyond the call of duty. Now, its time for these kids to step up to the plate. Gave a test on Friday, 6 kids had to retake it due to their horrible performance. Did they study? NOPE. Did they know they had a retest on Monday? YEP. Did they call me to ask for help like I instructed them to? NOPE. I am the test maker therefor the best person to call about a test is the test-maker. I was sooo frustrated today. Don't even get me started over the homework that is not being turned in. Of course, the students who are not turning in homework are also the ones doing poorly on my test. I cannot deal with this laziness. Time to call some parents.

Funny Friday

Today was quite an interesting day. The kids were extra hype today but they finally are making improvement. 7 out of 12 kids made 100's on our retest. I can finally move off of equations! Not much to say today. Plenty of papers to grade and plans to make for next week

Funny Quotes & Stanley Descriptions

Student: Mr Stanley you stepped on my $100 shoes

Me: Well your shoe got stepped on by $100 loafers so at least they are even

Boy to another boy in class: You smell like strawberries

Nun: Today was one of those days you need 10 shots of whiskey. Good thing I don't drink

Student: Mr Stanley, don't be trying to get sensational with me

Same Student: Mr Stanley I'm not yo friend. I'm not doing this work

Me: *sideeye*

Student: UGHHH Mr Stanley ima do yo work leave me alone

Stanley Descriptions:

-Always dresses up like a business man

-Funny accent

-Looks very well educated

-Looks like Ryan Howard

-Spiffy besides when he had that bowtie on

-Bentley Fonsworth's son

-Loafers in every color

-Very Christiany (that's not a word lol)

How To Mend A Broken Heart

Well today I was not feeling too well but naturally I still went to work. My boss jokingly said the only way I could miss school was if I was going to a funeral....and i were in the casket lol. Today went fairly well in comparison to the other days I had this week. Its amazing how much these kids do not know to be in the 9th grade. It frustrates me to no end to know that someone's administration or teacher let these students progress without knowing content. I still push on and try to cram in as much as possible. I am still struggling with their studying and am planning to spend our homeroom time learning study skills. The lack of prior instruction or not knowing how to study will not be their excuse. The learned the definition of excuses today and have to recite it everyday (lol). We can't let the past be a crutch on our abilities. I am also working on varying instruction as much as possible and reteaching using different methods. We have been doing partner work, group work, drawing, making collages, and today they created math review worksheets to help them teach themselves the material. Tomorrow is our re-retest and I am hoping we have significant changes in performance as a result of the reteaching and student created worksheets. There is also talk of yet another staff change due to our inability to find good teachers or teachers that desire to teach this age and demographic. I'm ready for consistency and I am sure the kids are too.

Now for the title of this post. Today one of my favorite students had his heartbroken. Now I know I am not supposed to have favorites but you naturally tend to gravitate to some more than others. He works hard in class and even though he aggravates me at times, I recognize his potential and acknowledge his determination. He apparently wrote a girl a song today. She took his song, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it in his face. He was so angry and would not do work in my class. At the end of the day, my patience is typically non existent for such behavior but it was very out of character for the kid who likes to hurry to get my work done to not engage at all. So his friends explain to me what happened and he and I talk outside. He really liked her and she just crushed his little feelings. I told him that he was young and had lots of opportunities to find a nice young lady who would appreciate him and what he has to offer. I mean, the kid wants to be a doctor. He'll have no problem then. He seemed to appreciate the talk because afterwards he came back into class and got on task. Being a teacher requires you to wear many hats.

Lone Soldier

Whelp, things have changed once again. One of the teachers quit today. This is yet another change that I can not shelter the kids from or prevent them from finding fault in themselves. It really takes a special person to handle these kids and its not for everyone. I never would have imagined myself teaching high school or else I'd probably would have never changed my major in the first place and graduated on time. LOL. I love it most days and really wonder how well I would have managed the younger kids I intended to teach. I am still trying to manage my social life and these kids. They are exhausting and I spend so much time pushing and pulling them that when I get home all I want to do is sleep. Even though I am teaching 9th graders, I feel like im teaching 3rd or that I have 22 kids who have to occupy my time, space, energy, and even my food from 7:30 to 3:30. I have yet to make it home before 5pm. My new goal is to leave school by 4 at the lastest on any given day except for meetings. Slightly worried but still happy.

When It Works, It Works

Lessons that engage and keep student interest= the most difficult thing a teacher has to accomplish. With all the many things that interest teenagers, it is hard keeping students engaged and on task. While I am not always the most engaging teacher, I have managed to be quite successful 85% of the time. The key has been two major things: Lesson variety (movement, individual, partner, whole group, small group) within the lesson everyday and communication. My students are very real and upfront with me about the things they like and dislike. They are starting to learn how they learn best which is a huge accomplishment. Friday's lesson on adjectives had students telling me how much fun they had in class whereas today's math lesson had students leaving accomplished. Most of the students failed my last math test and we pretty upset. We brainstormed together how we could make improvements and fix the problems. We pushed out a vigorous lesson today but many questions and commonly missed issues were addressed. While I am not always able to see such whole group victories everyday, I bask in the small ones. There was one student who was not feeling challenged enough nor adjusting to the other teacher's teaching style who moved into my math class. She was not doing work or participating and made a complete 180 degree turn around in class today. There was another student whose potential was being hindered by another student, moved into my class and has been one of my star performers. I have 5 students still struggling with multiplication who are currently being tutored by peer students who made the decision and sacrificed their homework time to tutor their friends. Im so proud of the work they are accomplishing and the sense of community they are establishing amongst themselves.

There are no Animals in the Ocean

The title of the post was how my day started. LOL. These are moments were I don't even comment, just shake my head and keep it moving. Today was the first good day this week. Yet another day of change but I think that now that the other lead teacher is here we can finally have some consistency. She is great. Vibrant personality with lots of ideas. I hope that the students easily adapt to her and her teaching style. The boys naturally have developed some crushes. smh #fast. We talked today about homicide amongst teenagers and how to begin to combat people with our brain power and knowledge rather than fighting. I love moments that help them become better men. I had to talk to one of my students because he continual has issues with respecting elders. He has a great deal of respect for me for some reason (which i can't complain about) but others approach him the wrong way. He reacts in a way that people think negatively about him when he is truly one of the hardest workers in my class. We talked about giving respect even when it isn't given to you and dealing with people we don't necessarily like. It was great to have him truly listen and take in my advice. Another student talked about how he was able to realize how much I actually cared about them unlike teachers they have had in the past. Im tough, I'm firm, but I am consistent and have high expectations that are required to be met. One of my biggest goals as a teacher was to communicate that feeling of love and realness. Slowly these boys are being molded into respectable young men and I am glad to have an active part in that process.

What You Not Finna Do

So I can see now that as a father I would probably do the most. Not necessarily sheltering my children but definitely going HAM on their behalf if I felt they were being mistreated. So today this lady who tutors at the school would not go in my classroom alone. My kids are very well behaved on average. I run a tight ship and my kids know better than to test me but so much. I left them alone the other day and this other teacher stopped by my room. She came to me later and said that my boys were perfect. I simply replied, I know. I can say that because my boys know 1. Mr Stanley is slick crazy 2. Never embarrass Mr. Stanley, make him look good. So when this lady refused to go into my classroom I was very offended. To me, I read two messages. 1. You have a problem being alone in a room with 15 Black boys 2. You don't have faith or trust in my ability to discipline and run my classroom. My boss said that it was moreso her inability to exert discipline over a large group but apart of me still feels slighted mainly because she was a white female and the kids we serve are often prejudged and labeled. I teach 15 boys that do not fit the stereotype. I have future doctors, NFL players, MLB players, accountants, lawyers, etc. My boys haven't had all the resources or opportunities but they recongize their own potential and I'll be damned if I let anyone send them any negative energy or messages.

Now to contradict my earlier statement slightly....there was a small physical altercation in my room. It made me extremely angry because they start drama over the smallest things. I went off. Parents were called and they have to write an apology letter to me before they can enter my class tomorrow. The boys looked pitiful because I let them have it. Later in the day one comes up to me and says "Mr. Stanley, are you still mad at me?". I smiled and said no. I have to remind myself that they will make mistakes and show them that I don't hold grudges. I try to communicate that its their actions that pisses me off sometimes, not them as a person.

Oh Mondays

Today was quite a blah day. I had two additional students join my room today putting the total to 15. Now in an ordinary setting where we aren't so individualized in instruction or cramped up in a hot portable this would be ok. Today, however, I was slick tired and not really in the mood for a lot of defiance. I don't even think the kids were acting out per se but I just couldn't deal with it today. We were doing math centers which in theory were perfect for the content that we had just went over and helpful for some other problem areas. Instead of being diligent, students were not staying on task, talking about each other, taking out phones, etc and I just ended the centers after three rotations. Honestly, 15 in my room just can not cut it. If i had started with the 15 from the beginning I think things would be different but the random additions are throwing off our routine. There is talk about splitting my class and mixing with the girls which will be helpful but I I'm a little attached so this may be easier said than done. Ultimately, I love what I am doing and can't wait til things mellow out and we stop making so many changes.

Beware of Mr. Stanley

Today was a good day. I love knowing how to do what I do well. It makes for a great level of comfort when people randomly stop into my classroom unannounced. Today was that day apparently. Three parents stopped by today and my students are always busy with a task. I leave very little room for down or play time. Today when the parents walked in, the kids were busy making posters that would be use to teach the different operations you do with decimals (addition, subtraction, etc). It was a great way to show the parents that we are about the business. One of my parents I have actually known for the past 4 years and had no idea I was teaching her son. We worked together at Vanderbilt. I also had a chance to speak with a number of parents last night. My boys work hard and they have involved parents who were delighted that I even took the time to call them.

In the past two days I have gotten two new students, taking my class size up to 13. Its apparent that I do not have to orient new students because my old students beat me to it. Thats the joy about having set classroom procedures. Expectations are easily recognized and reachable. Part of this "new orientation" my students give is to explain how strict I am and how much work we do. As I explained to the parents, we work hard in class and we have homework nightly and on weekends. While I do realize how tough that seems, I wish my teachers in the past hadn't let up on the work they assigned. My Senior English teacher was the only teacher who really made us work hard so when I got to Vanderbilt I was not prepared for the workload. I want my boys to be able to attend any University and feel just as at ease as some of the colleagues I had at Vanderbilt felt when they attended.

Mr. Stanley a Pimp

My students are rather comfortable with me. At times I really appreciate that trust and openness and other times I am so baffled at why they feel the need to say certain things around or to me. So today's topic of involuntary discussion was the fact that one of my kids learned that there was a 3 to 1 ratio of women to men in America. From this ratio they also decided that there were not enough men in the world so women had no choice but to want them. They also decided that this meant bountiful options for any women they wanted. I just laughed at this conversation and went on about the day. If they only really knew. So the elementary teachers were back on campus because all of metro teachers returned today and we are of course housed in the portables at the elementary school. The school is staffed with a lot of young females. I met these teachers for the first time at in-service on Tuesday and everyone knew that I was already teaching. So teachers that saw me would speak and ask how things were going. Well this one teacher who passes me is this white lady (who is also slightly attractive) passes by and speaks. Of course the same boy who had the statistic from earlier witnessed this and was like "Uh oh Mr. Stanley, I see you pullin the white girls, Mr Stanley don't discriminate". SMH. He proceeds to be say "I bet Mr Stanley be pullin all the teachers after school, be talking to five at one time". The rest of his peers just cosigning in. LOL. 5 at one time??? LOL. SMH.

I have to record their "burning" song one day. So burning in school means talking about people or someone. SMH if they only knew what we know burning as lol.

No Fault, No Blame

Everyday is so draining but I'm beginning to see some minor growth. Growth is growth though. Its so unfortunate that I have some students so far behind. One lesson I learned today was that you can't place blame or fault on anyone. Yes, students have been passed on for years and years without being given the chance to truly learn and succeed. Placing the blame on last year's teacher, or the 3rd grade teacher, or a parent will get me no where but frustrated and annoyed. Instead, realistic goals and solutions turn the story of devastation into one of triumph. One of the things I told my students in the first week was that "Failure leads to Success". While I have already had to retest the first test, students are showing progress and learning from mistakes. I too am learning from the mistakes I make in teaching and reteaching those lessons that did not quite come off the right way. For example, my lesson on conjugating verbs was HORRIBLE but I retaught it today and the kids were showing comprehension. #GREATSUCCESS

Ummmm No Ma'am No Sir

So today was quite an interesting day

1. Student: Man i bet Mr Stanley was shakin it when he went to college (shakin it means partyin). Mr. Stanley did you go to parties in college

Me: Yeah

Student: I bet Mr. Stanley be taking different girls home every night

Me: No that's how you take 3 letters home in one night that you can't get rid of

2. I got hit in the butt by one of the girls. SMH. Then her friend tried to make her do it again. NO MA'AM. SMH. Fast ass kids

3. Girl: Mr Stanley you one of them pretty boys aint u? You just be feelin yo'self when you get dressed in the morning.

4. Girl: Mr Stanley my cousin. He my uncle and my brother. Can i use yo phone?

Me: No

5. Girl: Mr Stanley can you be my daddy. I don't like my dad and step daddy.
Me: Do what? NO

6. Boy: Mr. Stanley, can I go home with you

Me: No absolutely not

Another Student: You gay bruh plus Mr. Stanley ain't got kids, he not tryin to have you at his house

7. Same boy from 6: Mr Stanley, im gonna get on your nerves until you let me get some water

Me: what you are about to do is get out of my face

The heat is gettin to everybody. Luckily there is no school tomorrow or Friday. #THANKUJESUS

Things You Don't Think Nuns Would Say

So I always refer to the nuns as "my nuns", not really sure why. They tend to say some of the funniest things tho. But this one takes the cake. So im talking with one of the sisters who prepares the kids lunches and snacks. This is our dialogue

Nun: I'm just looking for things to have for the kids for snack time. They have a lot of stuff in here (here meaning her portable where she serves food from)
Me: Oh ok
Nun: Oh look, some margarita mix. We should fix some for the kids but we don't have any liquor *laughes*
Me: *look of slight confusion, slight agreement, slight wtf* (all while laughing)
Nun: I bet the kids would like that
Me: I bet they would too. Im not sure what kind of effect it would have (trying to somehow not to make myself seem like an alcoholic)
Nun: Yeah me either

LOL, when I tell you i was dying. SMH. Sadly, I had a bottle of Jose in the back sit of the car. Even more sadly, the nuns ride with me to school almost everyday. LOL

Another Nun story: On the way to school
Nun: The kids are will learn keyboarding starting on Monday
Me: Ok
Nun: You need to work that into the schedule.
Me: Ok
Nun: Now they can't learn keyboarding the biblical way
Me: *looks of mass confusion*
Nun: You know what that means?
Me: No i don't. *still confused*
Nun: You know, the seek and ye shall find method
smh lol. U crazy lady. Nuns got Bible jokes lol.



More Student Quotes

Girl: Mr Stanley got on his jerkin outfit today. He think he the stuff today
WTH is a jerkin outfit? Dang can I be fly? I didn't even do anything but walk by them.

Boy: Mr Stanley you look nice without your glasses
Other Boy: You gay for that bruh
Boy: Nah, Mr Stanley look mean with his glasses
*Little do they know, them mugs are fake anyways lol*

Boy: Mr Stanley be getting buck with us all the time.

Girl: Mr Stanley you my cousin. I don't like none of these people here except you. I don't like him cuz he won't give me the basketball, i don't like him cuz he short, i don't like him cuz he think he Kobe, (she continues to go through EVERY boy in my class smh)

Boy 1: He trying to talk to yo girl
Boy 2: He ain't bout to take my gal......he can take my gal. Ill just call anotha one right now.
smh

Whelp, There Goes The Happy Story

So of course all of those good days had to mean that surely a bad one was brewing. WHELP, today was that day. My test results were not as good as expected, so you know what that means...back to the drawing board. All these changes have me so unprepared and there are so many obstacles in the way. SUCH AS no internet in my room, not being able to prepare before the school year started, etc. I mean being flexible and versatile should be a part of the experience, but everyday is NOT gonna work for me. THEN a fight almost broke out in my room and i flipped. I was on the brink of cursing them out. It was over something real petty too. My students of course have cell phones at the age of 14 and 15. Most of them have bluetoothes as well. Well my macbook picks up on bluetooths. Well one of the devices trying to connect was entitled "pussy monsta". I'm pretty real with my kids so I asked who it belonged to. No one wanted to confess but the guilty person was doing his best for me not to notice him. Not only did I notice him but i also noticed him changing the name of his bluetooth name. I leave him the opportunity to confess. Of course he doesn't. So I tell the class I am not letting them go home until the guilty party comes forward. I can do that, I'm Dean of Students. LOL. So finally he confesses and another student decides to start talking sideways to him. The two go back and forth making threats and slick buckin at each other. So i lose my mind and start yellin and fussin. I'm sure everyone thought I was crazy but at this point they were pissing me off because they wouldn't stop after I kept telling them to stop. The whole day just irked my nerves.

Its isn't the victory after all but the fight that the kiddos make

Today we put in a long hard day in Math today. My kids were all struggling with long division so I decided to dedicate as much time as necessary to make sure they learned it. However, I needed them to conquer it today and they DID IT! Its the small victories like this that let me know I am doing my job right. Now I just have to transform them into writers. Oh Boy!

Fraternal Bonds High School Edition

Today was another good day. The transitions are becoming a lot smoother and the kids are learning the procedures fairly quickly. A lot more of the things they are struggling with are coming to the light. So I try to never have favorites but there is always one kid who manages to crave more of my attention than others. The smallest boy in class with the biggest personality chose me instead of I him. He is incredibly great with technology. He connected all of the computers in my room in less than 5 minutes. He has spent the past two days having part of his lunch time with me in my room. I feel there are a lot of underlying reasons for that but I'm glad I have become someone he feels connected to so quickly.
On the other hand....these kids get low key pledged lol. I have never been a believer in sending kids out but exercise surely does the body good when you act out in my class. Two kids found that out today. One for cursing and the other for having his phone out in class. The kids was all like "dang Mr. Stanley don't play". Hopefully that should be the last time but I had to send a message that I mean what I say.

Funny Quotes

So as you know, I always seem to have the kids who speak their mind at any given time or say off the wall things. I will try to remember the quotes but sometimes they happen at really random and inconvenient times of the day lol.

1. Kid: Mr Stanley are you married?
Me: No
Kid: Do you have any kids?
Me: No
Kid: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No
Kid: Well you need to go to the club to find a girlfriend

2. Me: *giving some speech about balancing social lives and academics*
Kid: Mr. Stanley do you go to the club?
Me: Sometimes
Kid: No you don't. That's why you don't have a girlfriend

3. People who steal are called cluckers #newkidterminology

4. Kid: Mr. Stanley got college boy swag

5. Me: Where did you get those scratches from?
Girl: I was riding on the back of a truck with (someone i can't remember) and she was going fast and i fell and scrap myself here, here, here, here, and here (pointing to all locations) and I hit my head but it was fun
Me: *blank stares*
Girl: They was goin to call the amalance (that's how she pronounced it) but I said i was gucci. They thought I had a concussion.
Me: Oh ok *looks of mass confusion*
Girl: They were about to give her a citation cuz her license was suspended
Me: *SMH*

6. Girls: Mr. Stanley, you married?
Me: No
Girls: Why not?
Me: I'm only 23, why should I be married?
Girls: Well do you have a girlfriend
Me: No
Girls: *walks away laughing*

First Day of School: First Lesson "Fly By the Seat of Your Pants

So today marked my first day. Naturally I had the first day jitters and was up by 5am. Since I tend to have most of my creative thoughts in the morning I added on to my lesson plan to spice it up then headed off to work. Apparently on Saturday after I spent almost 4 hours moving and arranging furniture, the guy who cleaned my floor decided that he would pile all of it up on one part of the room. My first task therefore became to rearrange my room before the kids got to school. I arrived at 7:15 and damn it the school bus was on time so they arrived at 7:30. Since when did buses actually make it to school on time the first day??? Luckily the principal aka the Nun wanted to have some private meeting with the kids so she bought me enough time to fix the room back to the way it was supposed to look before they arrived.
I greet all the students in the cafeteria where they were having their meeting and shook all of their hands. Of course there was one girl who decided that her hands were too dirty to shake my hand *sideeye*. The nun was like "it looks like she isn't one for shaking hands" so i replied as I cut my eye at her "looks like she's about to learn. Shaking hands is polite". Right then I knew she was going to be my problem child. So after, I took the boys into class for their first lesson. Yes we did work on the first day of school. LOL. Class went flawlessly. They were very attentive, extremely engaged, and very respectful. They didn't even notice that we spent 1hr 30 minutes on math lol. Towards the end of the math lesson one of the other teachers gives me the message that I would also be teaching the language arts piece too. WTF, I only prepared for the math class and you want me to teach a 1hr class on the fly. Well because I'm the shit, I pulled together this lesson using two poems. One about a man who gets mad because someone gave him the wrong clock and the other about the destruction of the world. From that we talked about reading with accuracy, speed, fluency, and comprehension. Now to say this lesson went perfect would be a stretch because the girls joined in my class. Let's just say they were not so easily transitioned back into school. Attitude was on 10 and they tried for the longest to avoid participation until they realized the lesson wasn't all that boring and it was something to which they could relate. Then we all were recruited to move limbs. The kids had to move all these limbs to the street. I felt bad so I helped for a little while but I had on Cole Haans, slacks, a dress shirt, and a bowtie you know that was very short lived. The rest of the day turned out pretty well and the girls finally realized that I wasn't as evil as I may have seemed. They all have lots to accomplish because the deficits are so great but I am looking forward to the challenge and am blessed to have such ambitious and courageous young men to work with (i don't have to teach the girls anymore...for now lol).

Nashville: Permanent...oh crap

My school principal is a nun. That may or may not be important information but i shared it anyways lol. She has been doing tons of work in education policy and educational leadership over the past 65 years. Yes, she is old. Quite old to be running a new school but her passion for the uplift of our community is stronger than any other person I know. Part of my reasoning for staying with her schools was for that very reason. We talk often about the state of Black youth, the state of the Metro school district, and ways to help change the outcome for the future of Black America. Last night she said "Stanley (cuz everyone seems to drop the Mr. these days lol), im old. I'm too old to be running a school but I have to. I'm starting this so you can finish it. I should be sitting at home praying your through this, not doing the work." She goes on to talk about how we are to fine tune things this year. She also has the dream of opening the one of the first charter high schools in the district which she was denied this past year. I also expressed my career goals in the beginning. I want to become a Superintendent and I also want to open a school. Well before I take her home she says to me "Stanley, I really hope that you will stay apart of the Project Reflect family. We have plans to grow even larger and would support your endeavors in starting your own school". I am rarely ever speechless but after she said that I was at a complete loss for words. This lady is giving me my first teaching job and is now my financial backing for my very own school. Looks like I'll be applying to some Masters programs for Educational Leadership lol.

Open House "The Calling"

I don't think i have had a more powerful conviction in life than my calling to teach. I considered so many options as a child but most of them were ludacris at best. Like my dream to become a bus driver. Who the hell dreams to be a bus driver?!?! Luckily I returned back to teaching.
Something made me gravitate to this job offer. I originally had a position offered to me from KIPP Academy Nashville. It paid well, had the benefits I needed, and generally provided me with the opportunity to make a difference (which is all teacher's cliche reasoning for teaching). However I turned this position down to be unemployed for a month, be unsure of my salary, and lose a month of my summer for this new position. Why? Only God knows, but I felt so strongly that this where the Lord wanted me to be. So I originally took this position under the impression that I would be teaching Algebra 1, Geometry, and Grammar Composition. COOL! BET! Until i got a phone call a week later saying "Mr. Stanley, do you think you could teaching every subject?" A self-contained class of all boys is now my teaching assignment. I will teach Algebra 1, English 9, Grammar & Composition, Physical Science, and World History. LOL. Sounds intense? Well it is but luckily the curriculum we are using comes with lesson plans.
Our Open House was last night and the parents learned about how this school would operate. Extended school year, extended school day, learning in portables, etc. As I gave some information, I began to watch the facial expressions on the parents faces. Some disapproving but others had a face of despair. This school is the saving grace for many of these children. These parents want the best for their children and have either been denied access to the finer schools Nashville has to offer or are terrified about the possible outcomes their child has from attending schools within the district. After talking to several parents last night, I felt a very strong conviction. One that has me both anxious and excited, but also nervous and worried. This is my first year as a teacher and as much as I think I know, there is so much I don't. I want these parents to see their children meet the goals and better lives they desire and I honestly don't know how to do that. That's the most frightening thing to me. These parents are trusting me to give their children the best education there is to offer. So I left last night with a lot of emotions but the one that lingered the strongest I think is gratefulness. God, my "principal", my colleagues, my friends, these parents all see the greatness in me that I don't always see. I'm grateful for this opportunity. These boys' success and failures will be the direct result of my work ethic and in my class no one fails.