Fifth Grade Favorites

So since I haven't blogged in awhile you all may have missed some of the more comical parts of this school year. Ill share my favorite five....really I can only remember about five

1. The day one of my students with downs ran away and I chased her. LORD HAVE MERCY SHE WAS FAST. So I knew there was a fire drill that day, I just haven't taught a lot of students with special needs. Prior knowledge would have led me to notifying her parapro that there was a drill so that she would be prepared....but I didn't have the prior knowledge so whatever. So we get outside and I'm lining up kids as I see a dash. All of sudden I'm like OH NO and I take off behind her. I'm wearing Cole Haans...barely broken in Cole Haans. So I start behind her but I realize that she is not giving me regular run, she's giving me Harriet Tubman give us us free track star running. So I'm like ok let me really run. So I switch into track star mode and catch her. The whole time everyone is WATCHING me run after her by myself. FOR REAL? Yall not trying to help me? She was running straight to the woods. If she made it in, she would have been a goner because I don't do the woods. I surely wasn't going to email her parents either. Then the one of the other kids tells me (as im out of breath because I'm no longer in shape) that it was time to go inside. When I tell you I was on the verge of cursing him out! I told him, "we go inside when I say we go inside. I know you see me out of breath".


2. My black kids play "Beyond Scared Straight". I really don't know how to explain this to yall at all. Just know there is a warden...a lot of yelling...a lot of marching. Befuddles me every recess


3. My students like to play me like I'm old. I am but that doesn't mean we talk about it. Here is how I shut it down once

#ooms- Mr Stanley you are old
me- Oh you obviously like 5th grade enough to do it twice

#endscene Don't come for me like kids.

4. I will never forget when #ooms I call my Spanish thug came up to my teammates and I and said "I have a friend with benefits". Talk about the most awkward moment in life. None of us knew what to say but we couldn't just leave it. So I went in for more details. Needless to say it wasn't as bad as I thought but it was kind of close. SMH

5. Last but not least....Charles and Mr. Stanley have been doing a lot of merging in the classroom. While that may sound like a good thing...its not. Charles is ratchet. Mr. Stanley is not. Im teaching a math lesson and somehow integrated "started from the bottom now we here", beefed it up, and used the saying "we don't die, we multiply" all in one class period. Gots to do better.