TCAP...not the predator kind

While it is yet spring break, the daunting horizon of the TCAP is just three weeks away. Normally I do not stress about stuff like this but it is really important for me to see how well I am at getting results. Last year, I was able to lean on the crutch of not teaching my students an entire calendar year but this year....don't really have any excuses. To make matters worse, we have a widening achievement gap in the 5th grade (the largest gap in the building). My fear is that our classroom setup has made me better at teaching the kids at the top which is an exact flip of my results from last year. Our classes are ability grouped (don't ever consider that idea for an entire school building...not sure what idiot created that research but they should have been more specific about where to apply said research). I really want to see all of my students at proficient but I don't know if that is completely possible. Couple that with being unhappy with my job and it becomes that much harder to produce results. I love my kids, I love teaching 5th grade, I love my coworkers, but the structure of our school building and the culture of our school has had me in the worst slump ever. Now that I know I'm going on to new adventures, I will have the drive to push out some major moves in the next three weeks. We'll see though.

Whats in da new chicken wraps?!?!?!

What's good everyone?!?! It has been a minute since I have posted to this and mainly because of two reasons


1. I don't know what kind of thumb you call it when all the computers you touch malfunction but whatever it is, I had it. I was kind of down and out and without and grad school was here so that's that.

2. I've honestly been really dissatisfied

I'll dwell on 2 a bit longer and in the end, I will tie this back to my crazy title. In January of 2012, I transferred schools and for all the right reasons in my opinion. Working with the someone who doesn't like you nor you them but not being the advantageous one in the situation is just not healthy. So I left. However, when I left, I didn't quite realize what I was leaving. Originally, I was making a point and a statement. That point being: I'm the shit and you need me more than I need you. Hey, I was young and proud what can you do. I realized though that I was leaving kids who were like my own children. My students respected me as a parental figure minus calling me dad because that's just weird and awkward for an 8th grade girl to call her male teacher not much older than her. After moving to my new school, I lost that feeling. I truly didn't know the impact that would have on my satisfaction with my job. I love teaching and I truly think I am gifted at what I do to a certain degree. My forte comes with relationships that I build with kids. However, my authoritarian demeanor doesn't necessary match all kinds of kids but it does a certain demographic. That's when it hit me....I really do not like privileged children. As harsh as that statement sounds, hear my rationale. At my old school I provided the stability, structure, discipline, love, guidance, etc because many of my kids did not get it in large doses at home. My parents didn't call me and email me 5 times a week with concerns but I liked that because my students needed me in a deeper way than my students now. I truly miss that. One of the reasons I ventured into the classroom was because my teachers reached out to more than the academic piece of me when I needed it the most. My teachers were my lifesavers. I like life saving. I like helping and being needed. So how does this relate to my title....well....Mary loves chicken....chicken wraps....so she did a commercial....with lots of passion....about chicken wraps. Most people hated that commercial and she tried to deny she was here for it but she was. So in the same fashion, I'm returning to what I love.

A Man of Many Talents: Good or Bad Thing

HELLO READERS. I know it has been ages since I have posted on here. I promise to make strides towards being more dedicated and faithful to posting. Its definitely a stress reliever so I have to look past the time consumption aspect.

WELL whats new. What isn't? My kids and I have grown a lot together and its amazing to see how much love and affection you can have for children who are not your own. I didn't think I really cared that much until I spent 3 weeks away from them and saw them again the first day back. I was happy to see them. New hairstyles and clothes made them look different and I realized how much I missed them. That feeling lasted about 10 minutes. LOL. My patience is low. To recap on the past year, I spent 3 1/2 God awful weeks reteaching fractions and decimals OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I tried so many strategies and finally started seeing results. Its crazy how so many try to typecast learning. I personally don't find it to always be as consistent as it is argued to be. Learning different things take different learning styles I think. My visual students have their kinesthetic moments and vice versa. After those three weeks of feeling like a failure, coupled with dissatisfaction with school curriculum, frustration with lack of maturity, and the ever present battle against laziness I was feeling the effects of a burnout (hence my lack of blogging). I was thinking that nothing I was doing was working and that my efforts were getting us no where. UNTIL the last week of school came around, I was convinced that I definitely needed to explore some options. My students took an assessment in both math and reading. Of course as the math teacher, i was eager to see what my students would do. I expected the worse. In fact, I thought scores were going to decrease from the prior test. To my surprise, I got the very opposite. My kids showed out and they all showed growth in math. Not only that, their largest gains were in mathematics as opposed to reading. It goes to show that hardwork is never in vain and that sometimes you have to endure what seems like failures to get the ultimate success you desire.

Now that we are up to date, lets talk about how my life has taken a dive. Returning back to school i find out 3 new things: 1. We have yet another new schedule (GREAT!) 2. We are dropping the old curriculum (YAY!) but now we must design our own according to the standards (UGH FAIL) 3. Im now teaching writing....(i already teach Algebra and Physical Science). Clearly it is evident that I have some talent at teaching these kids which is why I think the additional subject has come along but the other two coupled with that are proving to be nerve racking. Im a bit stressed but their is a silver lining ($$=End of year bonus)

Sacrifices

A teacher often has to sacrifice a lot of things. Purchasing supplies from your own paycheck, staying after school to tutor or run a student organization, attending events students participate in, spending time at home preparing for instruction instead of maximizing quality time with family, are all just a few items on the list that most teachers give up. In my first year, I have experienced many of those however the sacrifice I recently have made has made all the world of difference. I sacrificed my planning period (i have two) to provide one on one instruction to one of the lowest kids in the school in mathematics and science. We are literally starting at the beginning with one-step addition. This sacrifice has been worth it and it has only been two days. In these two days, I have created an engaged math student. I taught the dot system that is often used in the elementary school for adding and taught him how to use the dots to add so that he doesn't have to use his fingers. At his age, it is embarrassing to have people see you use your fingers to count. Now, he has adopted this method and uses it to solve problems. Today, I wrote problems on the board for him to solve later. Now in normal circumstances, my students would ignore anything I have on the board until I bring it up. However, I left the room for 30 seconds while he was finishing up his science assignment to see that he had taken it upon himself to start the problems on the board. I couldn't be more proud of him. This same student is the one who hates school, has no real life goals, and only has interest in Waka Flocka Flame, girls, and computers. He comes and gets down to work and tries to learn and master the things we are learning. While we have a far way to go, I am glad I gave up my time in order to help make sure that he could start finding an interest in his learning. He currently has an A in the material we have covered in which he respond "I have an A..that go hard in the paint like Flocka said huh" lol.

A Seed Doesn't Flower Overnight

So I haven't blogged in awhile because all I could think of to blog about were negative. I hate whining and complaining because that gets you absolutely no where. So here is a recap of all that has happen since I last blogged

1. Salary cut

2. Homework completion rate almost dismal

3. Test failures

4. Being fussed out by a parent

5. 2 Schedule/class changes

6. Epic failure of giving a test when i was absent

7. Being micro-managed

All these things plus discipline and immaturity levels have made work a dreadful place to go. So instead of quitting which i definitely contemplated, I tried to make changes that would make things happen the way I wanted instead of allowing things to happen to me. So here is the list of things that changed in my classroom

1. Reading assignments are given twice in different forms (review questions, summaries, etc)

2. Parents are called immediately by their child when they do not turn in homework

3. Progress reports go home weekly

4. Quizzes are also daily

As a result, homework turn in rate has increased significantly as well as the amount of studying that is put in on the home front. I just need to figure a way to transfer class performance to assessment performance.

Teaching is difficult. I have read several articles about the first year experience and they are even an understatement (at least for the demographic I work with). Its hard being so young and teaching kids how to become respectable young men, instilling in them a work ethic, and making them find value and purpose in their education. Most of these things I do not recall having to learn at their age so it is difficult for me to understand the disconnect. I am learning to be patient but not complacent with where they are. The biggest difficulty is overcoming how to help those who don't want or know they need the help.

Stanley Goes HAM

So I gave my entire Algebra 1 class zeroes today. No one did homework this weekend nor did they study. Naturally I went in on them but in a cool, calm, and collective. This is how it went

Me: Soooo none of you did your homework this weekend.....What is the point of me teaching if you are not going to go home and do your work nor study. What is my job as a teacher

Students: To answer questions, to teach, to give us knowledge (randomly shouted out)

Me: Ok....so what is your job as students?

Students: To take in the knowledge, to study, to do our work

Me: Ok, so I am doing my job, why are you not doing yours?

Students: No response

Me: Oh that was not a rhetorical question, I want an answer

Students: I don't know

Me: Well maybe because you are going to games, throwing parties, hanging out, kicking it, watching games that you are not doing your job. I do all of those things too but I still get my work done. So here is what you are going to do. You have these 6 problems on the board. You will take out your notes and work on these problems alone. Don't ask me any questions because I am not answering them. You didn't do your job, so I am refusing to do mine. When you come back tomorrow, you need to have studied and come prepared with questions for the things you don't understand

I am so straight on feeling like I teach elementary kids. They are going to learn responsibility if it kills them. I also refused to take any late work. I know they hate me lol.

Life Choices

So I finally got inside to figure out part of the problem with one of my students. I was shocked that he felt that he could confide in me to let me in on what has been going on in his life. Unfortunately what he told me left me shocked and defeated. While I won't delve into the specifics, all I truly heard was a possible 8 to 12 years in jail. For the first time, I had no answers or solutions. No way I could help. As unfortunate as the situation could potentially be, we talked about the life lessons behind it. Life isn't as precious until you realize you can't enjoy it freely or until you know it is about to be taken from you. We talked about choices. Parents don't emphasis the effect that choices no matter how big or small have an effect on something. Everything you do have an outcome either favorable or not to your situation. In this case, the decision he made now has the chance to ruin the plans he could have had for his life. Being locked up will do nothing but make him have to work even harder than he has to work now. Let's face it, the realistic chance that he will become something else other than another black man on the street will be inevitable if he goes to jail. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time isn't always by happenstance and sometimes we have to make the decision to protect ourselves first. According to his story, he was not involved so pray that God's will be done and that the outcome is favorable to his success and future.